Garon, a thirty-year old line cook with a crappy attitude sits on his bed and posts morosely on his Facebook timeline about his rotten life “OPINIONS”. He begins to scroll through his new feed and reads a fiery post from a radical feminist acquaintance named Beth “MAN ON THE Q TRAIN”, detailing her interaction on the subway with a man disingenuously claiming to be a feminist ally. Garon is triggered by this and lets loose on her in an aggressive, nonconstructive manner. She fires back at him, informing him that he basically proved her point, and unfriends him.

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Elsewhere on Garon’s news feed, an acquaintance named Devin enthusiastically informs his friend Jolie that their favorite band will be at the Greek Theatre soon. Garon intervenes with snark and derision, insulting them for being fans of both The Decemberists and Arrested Development. Devin and Jolie, mildly annoyed by this, attempt to give Garon a lesson in social media etiquette “MEAN AND BITTER”. Garon hits back even harder, and they both unfriend him.

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Jacob, a sweet metrosexual man with lots of friends online and otherwise makes a “vague-post” asking for prayers and good vibes in advance of a big event in his life, which is met with a chorus of likes and positive energy “GOOD VIBES”. Disgusted by this, Garon antagonizes Jacob, which prompts all of Jacob’s friends to immediately come to his defense. Jacob thanks his friends for their support and proceeds to unfriend Garon.

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A man named Richard does a copy-and-paste of a popular post invoking the Code of Intellectual Property to protect his data from new software employed by Facebook. Garon mocks and derides him for being gullible “COPY AND PASTE”. Richard silently unfriends him.

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Garon continues to burn bridges and turn everybody against him one by one “FINALE” until finally he goes too far while commenting on a birth announcement and is reported to Facebook. His account is disabled. In the deafening silence of a lonely Facebookless existence, Garon begins to have regrets.