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Music by Jonathon Lynch
Lyrics by Gil Varod
Book by Eric Grunin

Comedy, SciFi



When Grandma accidentally downloads some nasty spyware to her computer, her photos may be lost unless she is able to pay a ransom in Bitcoin. Grandma has no idea what that is - but luckily her grandson Thomas is pretty good with computers.


Cast Size

3 (1m, 2f, 1x)


20 Min.


Now, and not in the future. Not yet.. at a row house in New York City.




Technology, Family

Target Audience

Appropriate for all ages


Musical Theatre



Additional Resources

Instrumental Tracks, Melody Tracks



Casting Information

  • GRANDMA – Appears as early 70s. Retired.

  • THOMAS – Grandma's grandson. Recent college graduate. Lives at home.

  • A.I. (later AIDA, aka Artificially Intelligent Digital Antagonist) – Any age female, the voice of the malware. Should be visible, not disembodied.

  • ALEX – Nine-year-old boy. Belarusian, speaks some English. Can be played by a woman.


You'll Never See Your Memories Again
00:00 / 03:21
Computers Like You More Than They Like Me Thomas
00:00 / 02:34
It Can Hear Us
00:00 / 03:11
We Went Outside
00:00 / 02:31
Casting & Songs


Production History

“RansomWHERE?!” originally premiered at the 2017 Across a Crowded Room Festival at the Library for the Performing Arts at Lincoln Center, produced by the Billy Rose Theatre Division. The cast:

GRANDMA: Gail Dennison THOMAS: Joris de Graaf A.I.: Emily Ray Baraf ALEX: Cassidy Layton

“RansomWHERE?!” was chosen to be part of the 2020 season of “Bite Sized Broadway”, a 12-time award-winning podcast that broadcasts mini musicals as fully-produced radio plays.

Production History
Author's Bios

Author Bios

Illustrated Mountains

ERIC GRUNIN is a composer, lyricist, and bookwriter. Full-length musicals include Brooke Astor's Last Affair (Music, with Rachael Migler; Chicago MT Festival, 2019) and Our Woman, Frank Thompson (Music and lyrics, with Andi Lee Carter; Musical Theater Factory, 2017). Short musicals include Down With the Script! (music, with Seth Christenfeld; Lincoln Center, 2022), Double Double (music, with Seth Christenfeld and A.J. Freeman; Bite-Sized Broadway, 2020), Dybbuk of the Opera (book, with Natan Zamansky and Bill Dyszell; Lincoln Center, 2019), Bystander (music, with Ed Levy; Sound Bites 2018, pub. MTI), and RansomWHERE?! (Book, with Jonathon Lynch and Gil Varod; Bite-Sized Broadway, 2017; pub. MTI). He has contributed songs to MuseMatch X (2018) and The Resistance Cabaret (2016, 2017); blogged for Ryan Scott Oliver's CrazyTown; and reviewed for TheaterScene. He is an alumnus of the BMI Musical Theater Workshop, and has studied writing for the theater with Crystal Skillman, Adam Gwon, Kait Kerrigan, Bree Loudermilk, and David Spencer. He holds a Doctorate in Composition from Juilliard and is also, peculiarly, a recognized authority on 20th Century interpretations of Beethoven's Third Symphony.

Illustrated Mountains

JONATHON LYNCH wrote The Baroque Cycle (best score nominee & best singer winner, Winterfest NY), and The Turing Test (Gallery Players), and composed The Carousel of Inevitability and Certain Foreboding (fellowship winner, NYPL Performing Arts Library), Again and Again and Again (development award winner, Unsung Musicals Co), Time Travel Makes Complete Sense & RansomWHERE?! (Lincoln Center), and Slam! (TheatreNow NY). He's also the composer of NewB (award-winning web series), Elimination (video game), and Canta! Songs for Learning Spanish (album). His podcast, Bite-Sized Broadway, which won multiple awards in its inaugural season, showcases mini-musicals of new musical writers. He also music directed Micro-face (NPR), assistant music directed Finding Neverland (pre-Broadway workshop); music directed, dance arranged, and was on-stage trumpeter of The City Club (Minetta Lane); and music directed & arranged Giant Hoax (Theatre Row). A BMI Workshop & Northwestern Alum, he's a music director at AMDA & 92NY. For more information go to

Illustrated Mountains

GIL VAROD [Lyrics] is an award-winning book writer and lyricist. His musical Oedipus for Kids! has had productions at NYMF, 54 Below and internationally, and can be licensed via Concord Theatricals. Other notable works include Merry Christmas You Ridiculous Gentiles (The Duplex), Again and Again and Again (UnsungMusicalsCo Writer’s Lab), The Commuters (Riant Theatre), time et al (FringeNYC), The Complete Works of Walt Disney Abridged (Disney Imagineering), and His musicals RansomWHERE?! and Time Travel Makes Complete Sense were performed as radio musicals by Bite-Sized Broadway, and both are available for license by MTI along with the one-act edition of his musical The Carousel of Inevitability and Certain Foreboding. With Jonathon Lynch and A. J. Freeman, he was awarded a Billy Rose Theatre Division Fellowship to workshop the full-length edition of The Carousel of Inevitability and Certain Foreboding at the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts’ Billy Rose Theatre Division. Gil is an alum of the BMI Musical Theatre Workshop.

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